You Can't Break the Ties That Bind
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
If you see her, say hello, she might be in Tangier
She left here last early spring, is livin' there, I hear
Say for me that I'm all right though things get kind of slow
She might think that I've forgotten her, don't tell her it isn't so
We had a falling-out, like lovers often will
And to think of how she left that night, it still brings me a chill
And though our separation, it pierced me to the heart
She still lives inside of me, we've never been apart
If you get close to her, kiss her once for me
I always have respected her for doin' what she did and gettin' free
Oh, whatever makes her happy, I won't stand in the way
Oh, the bitter taste still lingers on,
from that night I tried to make her stay
I see a lot of people as I make the rounds
And I hear her name here and there as I go from town to town
And I've never gotten used to it, I've just learned to turn it off
Either I'm too sensitive or else I'm gettin' soft
Sundown, yellow moon, I replay the past
I know every scene by heart, they all went by so fast
If she's passin' back this way, I'm not that hard to find
Tell her she can look me up if she's got the time.
-Bob Dylan
Here's my turn. It's an older one, but it always leaps to mind.
She looked almost like the star Polaris
Shining in the red sky
If I tried to run somewhere else
She was in the corner of my eye
But she had other ideas for this future we had planned
I said something aloud, I found it barely scanned
I saw the mountains on the horizon away from her
If they were really mine, I wasn't all that sure
It must have been a game of words
And I said something wrong
We were headed on a downward spiral
Pretty soon, it was all gone
Remembering the time she drove me
In her parents' silver car
To some all-night restaurant that
Wasn’t really all that far
And she wore those red shoes she'd had since she was 16
I thought they looked nice, but I came off kinda mean
And I stood at the crossroads where we first kissed
But I didn't remember it ever looking like this
On a dry, long road like this one
My solace is my song
We were headed on a downward spiral
Before long, we were gone
Some river flows between us around
Three or four times a month
Every word exchanged from our lips
Seems to be just a bluff
And she took a job at a local swimming pool
I didn't wanna go, I thought I'd appear a fool
I cried and cried all night for no reason at all
Listening to Hank Williams's eclectic country drawl
Basically, the next four months were
Spent staying up 'til dawn
She was headed on a downward spiral
And I was already gone
She took the train up to New Hampshire
And I was Nebraska-bound
Looking for a change in my seven senses
For love coming from the ground
And she drove an old Ford from 1962
Taking every shortcut that she could go through
I felt the wind blowing into my bloodshot eyes
And when she didn’t write, I wasn’t all that surprised
I had the feeling she'd met a man
From the town she was from
She was headed on a downward spiral
And I was already gone
An old piano stood in the corner and I
Said I really needed to play
Someone I thought was my friend told me
"There's nothing we have to say."
And I grew angry with them like I always do
Old friends are so many, new friends are so few
And I thought about the woman who left me behind
For something she found floating invisible in the sky
I played the song she never heard
That was for her all along
Taking the path of a downward spiral
And the tune was already gone
Another month, a year or two
I’ll head on up to Vermont
I heard that’s where she’s staying
From a girl she called her aunt
Desperate times, miles measured the days 'tween us both
Before I knew where I was, I think she spoke
I felt the joy of love that haunted me once before
Choking back the tears of rage that I had already bore
I asked her how she was now
I knew before long
There was no more downward spiral
'Cause she was already gone
I took the time to say goodbye
She didn't even look back
I never criticized the way she played
Just her plan of attack
But she held heaven in her eyes and in her smile
They kept burning up my heavy mind all the while
I took the long way back to the Midwest ways away
I could have sworn the sky looked a little darker shade of gray
The rainy tears hit silently on
The park's small duck pond
They swirled in a downward spiral
And I was already gone.
-"Downward Spiral," S. Cronen
Monday, October 27, 2003
It's over. Was it a waste of time? Time will tell.
I'm free to choose who I please at any ol' time
I'm free to please who I choose at any ol' time...
I'm free at any ol' time to get what I want.
Saturday, October 25, 2003
It's good to be here, it's good to be anywhere.
I'm here to do three things this weekend:
1. See a play.
2. Play some music.
3. Forget.
Y'know the song "No Expectations"? That was it tonight.
Take me to the station
And put me on a plane
I've got no expectations
To pass through here again
Once I was a rich man
And now I am so poor
But never in my sweet, short life
Have I felt like this before
Your heart is like a diamond
You throw your pearls at swine
And as I watch you leaving me
You pack my peace of mind
Our love was like the water
That splashes on a stone
Our love was like our music
It's here, and then... it's gone
So take me to the airport
And put me on a plane
I've got no expectations
To pass through here again...
I want it all to be like it was. I'm hurting. I really am.
Thursday, October 23, 2003
I present to you, the greatest opening lines in Neil Young songs. Neil is amazing when it comes to opening lines that hook you quickly. Here's some of my favorites...
* "Look out, mama, there's a white boat coming up the river." from "Powderfinger"
* "Good lookin' Milly's got a gun in her hand, but he don't know how to use it." from "Pushed It Over the End"
* "Aurora borealis, the icy sky at night." from "Pocahontas"
* "If I could hold on to just one thought for long enough to know." from "Barstool Blues"
* "Once I thought I saw you in a crowded, hazy bar." from "Like a Hurricane"
* "Hello, cowgirl in the sand, is this place at your command?" from "Cowgirl in the Sand"
* "Danger bird, he flies alone." from "Danger Bird"
* "All of a sudden, she was on my mind." from "If I Could Have Her Tonight"
* "Don't call pretty Peggy, she can't hear you no more." from "The Old Laughing Lady"
* "Wake up! It's a Monday morning." from "Last Dance"
* "Well, he shot four men in a cocaine deal." from "Tired Eyes"
* "Hey, who's that stomping all over my face?" from "Nowadays Clancy Can't Even Sing"
* "It's a fallen situation when all eyes are turned in." from "Pardon My Heart"
* "Sailing heart-ships through broken harbors out on the wave sin the night." from "Tell Me Why"
* "Fourteen junkies too weak to work." from "Time Fades Away"
* "It's too dark to put the keys in my ignition." from "Roll Another Number"
* "Here comes the night, here comes the anger." from "Violent Side"
* "It has often been my dream to live with one who wasn't there." from "Will to Love"
* "There you stood on the edge of your feather, expecting to fly." from "Expecting to Fly"
* "The world is turning, I hope it don't turn away." from "On the Beach"
There's a few. Chew on 'em.
Wednesday, October 22, 2003
Bum-bum-bum-ba-bum-bum, I feel free...
Everybody's got one now. That shit's hilarious.
People talking to me
Someone saying that I'm not the same
That's not so easy to be
But when I'll learn to be free
I wonder if I'll miss the pain
Everybody's alone
Everybody's alone...
Why am I so alone? Where is my woman, can I bring her home? Have I driven her away - is she gone?
I've probably said that sometime before, but it hardly matters. The time has come, the walrus said, to pack up my bags and take a trip. Step aside, open wide. It's the loner.
"Open up the tired eyes..."
It all needs to end.
Sunday, October 19, 2003
Today's music has consisted of...
Dirty Work, the Rolling Stones. Y'know how you have those days where you're just pissed off for some reason? Not at anything in particular, just... angry? Yeah, this is the perfect album for that mood.
Undercover, the Rolling Stones. Y'know how I said that Dirty Work is the perfect album for inexplicable angry moods? Yeah, this is the album that should be played after that one is over, so as to continue the feel of it.
Sleeps with Angels, Neil Young and Crazy Horse. I hadn't listened to this album is forever, and I forgot how absolutely friggin' depressing it is. It is nice, though, when a former roommate walks in, hears "Piece of Crap," and thinks it's by a punk band. Take that, Neil fans who think he's just a folkie.
Selected songs from Black and Blue, the Rolling Stones. Specifically, "Crazy Mama," "Hey Negrita," and "Hot Stuff." 'Cause I watched the videos for 'em just a while ago.
Time Out Of Mind, Bob Dylan. Haven't listened to this, either, and it's seriously bringing tears to my eyes. I think, when I die, I want "Not Dark Yet" played at my funeral.
I'm so exhausted. I just wanna sleep for a week and wake up back home.
The PETE!!!!!! Being a Who fan is a great thing.
And I've decided that "Substitute" is probably the greatest song the Who ever did. Better than "My Generation." Better than "Won't Get Fooled Again." Better than even "Baba O'Riley."
Substitute me for him
Substitute my coke for gin
Substitute you for my mum
At least I'll get my washing done.
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
"Dual BBC cups!"
I know that Keith Richards is, and always shall be, God... but Neil comes pretty darn close, I think. Especially when he goes on and on about "dual BBC cups"... "It's a 1957 Buick piano."
Been playing tons of Neil songs today, too. I was on a Harvest kick for whatever reason. Played "Heart of Gold" and "Old Man," then decided to learn "Harvest," "Alabama," The Needle and the Damage Done," and "Words." Then I started playing various 70's things of his... "Only Love Can Break Your Heart," "Don't Cry No Tears," "Like a Hurricane," "Walk On," "Vampire Blues," "Danger Bird," "Drive Back," "Looking for a Love," and most of Rust Never Sleeps. And I have decided that the day Time Fades Away comes out on CD is the day I can finally rest easily at night. If that day ever comes...
Neil, what do you think about the artist Gustav Klimt?
"Well, y'know... he paints some nice paintings of, uh... lotsa good lookin' girls, y'know..."
Trust him on that one.
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
This is what's been running through my head all day:
Danger bird, he flies alone
And he rides the wind back to his home
Although his wings have turned to stone
And we used to be so calm
Now I think about you all day long
'Cause you've been with another man
(That's the moment that he cracked)
There you are and here I am
(Long ago in the museum with his friends)
The jailbird takes the raps
And he finds himself spread-eagled on the tracks
But the training that he learned will get him nowhere fast
And I know we should be free
But freedom's just a prison to me
(With the rain pounding on his back
He recalls the moment that he cracked)
'Cause I lied to keep it kind
(Long ago in the museum with his friends)
When I left you far behind
(And like those memories, the rain
Just keeps pounding down, down, down)
And though these wings have turned to stone
I can fly, fly, fly away
Watch me fly above the city
Like a shadow on the sky
Fly, fly, fly...
The whole Zuma album is just incredible. Every song on there, even the ones that rock really hard (ie "Drive Back," "Don't Cry No Tears") and the ones that are scary as all sin (ie "Danger Bird," "Cortez the Killer"), is beautiful. To quote Neil Young biographer Jimmy McDonough, "If God asked for a definition of beauty, I'd play him 'Barstool Blues.'" And maybe it's just me, but "Pardon My Heart" is the greatest On the Beach song to never be on said album. "Pardon my heart if I showed that I cared/But I love you more than moments we have or have not shared."
I'm feeling really antisocial today. I'd rather not be around people today. Everyone just gets more and more obnoxious, and it's driving me up the wall. I want to write a song... take people into the darkest recesses of my mind. But I'm just not up to it right now. I've got homework to do, anyway, not that I want to do it.
I was digging the Smashing Pumpkins earlier. I'd forgotten they did a cover of "Landslide." Friggin' beautiful, that track. And "Bullet with Butterfly Wings"? Man, what a rock song.
I don't want to go to the damn SigEp meeting tonight, but maybe it'll boost my flagging spirits. Last week's meeting was one I didn't attend, because I was sleeping in my room with the door open and nobody bothered to find me or wake me up. And they were all right outside the door, too. Is the world getting stupider? You decide.
I think the Doom Trilogy and Zuma should be packaged as one, big super-set of kick-ass music. Imagine it: You get the whole story, right there. From the opening notes of "Time Fades Away," to the last floating chords of "Through My Sails," it would be just a perfect set.
Steve!
Sunday, October 12, 2003
It pisses me off when picture links don't work. That Dylan pic I had below was super cool... and now it's gone. Oh, well.
I'm in a strange state now... I have been for the past couple of weeks. I'd like to get in gear, but I can't because my wheels have been temporarily put to rest. But I ate a Milano cookie and got nicely pissed, so it's all right. Jose is a good friend of mine. Ask the Thetas.
I've decided that I've had enough of trying to get this stupid fraternity thing started. I'm not sure if I've alluded to this in the past, so if I haven't, that's too bad. All you need to know is, I'm supposed to be the vice president of a new frat here at school. And I don't want to do it any more. I'm pretty sure that kind of commitment would kill me in the long run. I'm probably just being weird, but I feel like it doesn't suit me.
I've been listening to the rereleased "Found Four" Neil Young albums today. I put on American Stars N Bars last night when I went to bed. I used to dig the second side of that a lot more, but side one keeps growing on me. "Saddle Up the Palomino" and "Hold Back the Tears" are just plain excellent. I'm sure my mom would dig this album, it's got that sound to it that I always associate with her. I put on Hawks and Doves and Re.Ac.Tor this morning. I have to admit, the first side of Hawks and Doves is really not that bad. "Little Wing" and "Lost in Space" are incomparably sweet, and "Captain Kennedy" is a masterpiece. "Old Homestead" gets a little tedious after a while, especially when you consider the CSNY allusions and you realize they're incredibly inaccurate (I don't recall CSN ever ditching Y... it's always been the other way around). The second side of the record still bothers me a bit, with the shining exception of "Union Man." Re.Ac.Tor rocks, plain and simple. I'd forgotten what a good song "Southern Pacific" is.
Then I put On the Beach on. I can never be sure whether I want to be really happy or really sad when I hear that album. Because I feel like both.
Y'know what's really cool? Having a girlfriend who is immeasurably cool... kinda like Stephanie. And by "kinda like," I mean "exactly like." I love that girl. And it helps when her parents think I'm cool, too.
My younger sister sesm to have this sick infatuation with Jack White. To this, I say...
KKKKKKeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiittttttttthhhhhhhhh...
I'd post another picture of him, but I forget how.
Here's a good book: The Tao of Pooh. Pick it up sometime.
It's also a good time to be a Who fan. Because I said so.
"All her friends call her little wing
But she flies rings around them all
She comes to town when the children sing
And leaves them feathers if they fall
She leaves her feathers if they fall
Little wing, don't fly away
When the summer turns to fall
Don't you know some people say
The winter is the best time of them all
Winter is the best of all."
