Found this tonight.

Choose a band/or artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band: The Rolling Stones

Are you female or male: I’m a King Bee

Describe yourself: Soul Survivor

How do some people feel about you: It’s Only Rock and Roll

How do you feel about yourself: Torn and Frayed

Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: Bitch (also acceptable: She’s So Cold, All About You)

Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend: She’s a Rainbow

Describe where you want to be: Moonlight Mile

Describe what you want to be: Happy

Describe how you live: Dancing with Mr. D

Describe how you love: How Can I Stop?

Share a few words of wisdom: You Can’t Always Get What You Want


I saw Neil on Friday. And I met Larry Cragg and Zeke Young. And Neil did Danger Bird. I am so cool.
- posted by The Steve Cronen @ 7:31 PM

 
Here it comes my 19th nervous breakdown...

At least, that's what it's felt like lately. Between school, work, The Servant of Two Masters, and maintaining a badass relationship, I really have had no time to rest. I was going to try and stay up last night to get some things done, but I really did feel like death, and I opted to go to sleep instead. But at least this play has been fun, and it's nice to get back into the theater setting. I'd just forgotten how great of a commitment it is! Fortunately for me, I'd also forgotten what a great group of people theater folk can be.

Up on the musical plate lately has been the following: The Who. Miles Davis. The Rolling Stones. The Band. Sushirobo. The Buffalo Springfield. Neil Young (who I will be going to see tomorrow). Bob Dylan. David Bowie (who I'll be going to see in April).

It's been a long time since my last shower, so I think it's time for one of those. I feel really drained, and maybe the shower will help. We watched "The Deer Hunter" last night in class. What a movie... although I think it was a significant cause in my feeling drained. Lesley came with me to watch it. Poor girl; first she's wiped out after giving blood, then she has to watch three hours of "Deer Hunter." I don't envy her.

"I'm a desperate old fart, now... not boring, though!"
- posted by The Steve Cronen @ 10:03 AM

 
Here's a few quick updates because I have some things to do and can't write at length right now.

1. Today is my 20th birthday. Thanks to everyone who made it special.
2. I am Sushirobo's #1 fan.
3. I'd forgotten how awesome the Band was.
4. I love Lesley!
- posted by The Steve Cronen @ 11:28 PM

 
I have a knack of ruining the good things that I have going for me. Shall I explain? Perhaps you've heard this one before, or something like it. Trust me, you haven't heard this story before, you've just heard me bitch and moan about women. But this is interesting, I promise.

There's a girl here who's really become one of my best friends here, if not the best friend I have here. For a while back in November, she and I tested the waters of a relationship for a bit, because she liked me and I was just kind of floating around from woman to woman, from kiss to kiss, etc. So I indulged it, not really expecting anything more to come of it. We agreed before Christmas break that we'd hang back from this and I would give it some thought. I thought about her every day of Christmas break, wondering if she was the way to go.

Unfortunately, I was still enamored of this now-legendary Rachel character. This friend of mine was never very happy that I liked Rachel, because they weren't exactly the best of friends. So when we all got back for Winter III, my friend asked me if I'd thought about "us." I froze. I choked. I fucked up. I told her that we probably wouldn't be good as a couple, that she didn't have this "glow," etc. What bullshit. Anyway, in the weeks that followed, we remained friends, but I began to notice something distressing. She wasn't hanging around the Quad as much any more. She used to hang out with us all the time, like a supplementary roommate. Now she was going off with other people, doing things without even sparing us a thought, essentially leaving us behind. No, more like it, I felt liek she was leaving me behind. I was jealous that she was having so much fun on her own... but why? Then it hit me.

I was upset because I really did like her. I enjoyed being with her more than with any other person here. It drove me nuts that she would barely give me the time of day any more, because with each passing day, I realized more and more that she was "the one." And I fucked it up! If I had "Prince of Persia" time-rewind capabilities, I'd use them in a heartbeat.

So Thursday night I was hanging out in her room, because that's where our friend Alexis was celebrating her birthday... with a number of other people and copious amounts of alcohol. I was especially upset because my friend's roommate had returned from her extended winter break... and I really do not like her roommate at all. But at least we all talked, had fun, got a bit drunk (in fact, that was my second time that evening getting drunk, yay for me!), etc. When my friend and I were finally hanging out alone (sometime between 2 and 3 in the morning, I think), we decided to sit and watch "Let's Spend the Night Together." That's one of my favorite things about her: she digs the Stones. Anyway, as I was a bit loose and didn't have much of a care as to what I was saying, I told her that I had madce a mistake and that I believed in second chances and all that.

Well, she believed in second chances, too... and she said that she was happier at this moment just being single. Yeah, shot down, once again. I waited too long and fucked it all up. And now I don't know where I stand... again. What can a poor boy do?

She's still my friend, but she gets more and more distant all the time, and it's driving me absolutely mad. I'm so lonesome I could cry.

"She's my little rock and roll
My tits and ass with soul."
- posted by The Steve Cronen @ 8:56 PM