So it's been a little while since the last update. Things have been a little hectic, as one might imagine. What with the holidays and work and all... what's that saying about burning the candle at both ends?

First off, although it's now past midnight, I'd just like to say that today (the 29th) is the five-year anniversary of the death of George Harrison. As I said on my LiveJournal, I don't think there's been a day since where I've so profoundly hurt as much as I did then. I miss you, George.

I've been sick for about a week now, although I'm currently on the mend and feeling better than I have in several days. Wrote a song last night, something I'd been kicking around since my last months in Portland and, while it still needs some work, I think it's opened some floodgates to more productive songwriting. I currently have some chips and alcohol to help it along.

It's funny... Katherine is back in Boise at the moment, she has been for a couple of weeks... I want so desperately to give her my heart completely, but something is holding me back. Maybe it's the fact that I already met my match. After finding someone so absolutely right for me, it's become very hard for anyone to live up to that. I know I'll never have the true love I found, certainly not in this lifetime... but I wish I could get over that fact and finally let go and give my heart to someone else, without all of this self-doubt and worry over the future and all that. I dunno... Staci was the one. I thought we'd somehow weather the storm of being apart for so long and come out as some ungodly happy married couple in a few years. I've dreamed of kissing her and making live to her, of marrying her in some garden with our closest friends there... I've dreamed of finding some house on the coast with her, of having children and birthdays and anniversaries and crazy drunken nights together... and of finding that peace that comes with older age, sitting beside her in our 40's, 50's, 60's, and beyond.

But I will never have that. I will have to settle for something less, or at least, something else. I've come to really love and adore Katherine, but there's still a lot of stuff there that doesn't quite click. With Staci, it was never an issue. From all I could tell, everything clicked. I could never envision having a fight with her, except maybe over which album by so-and-so was better than the other. It's all some fanciful daydream, I know, but this is really how I felt, and still how I feel now. I don't know that I'll ever love someone the way I love her.

*Sigh*... I dunno...
'Twas in another lifetime, one of toil and blood
When blackness was a virtue and the road was full of mud
I came in from the wilderness, a creature void of form.
"Come in," she said,"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

And if I pass this way again, you can rest assured
I'll always do my best for her, on that I give my word
In a world of steel-eyed death, and men who are fighting to be warm.
"Come in," she said,"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

Not a word was spoke between us, there was little risk involved
Everything up to that point had been left unresolved.
Try imagining a place where it's always safe and warm.
"Come in," she said,"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

I was burned out from exhaustion, buried in the hail,
Poisoned in the bushes an' blown out on the trail,
Hunted like a crocodile, ravaged in the corn.
"Come in," she said,"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

Suddenly I turned around and she was standin' there
With silver bracelets on her wrists and flowers in her hair.
She walked up to me so gracefully and took my crown of thorns.
"Come in," she said,"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

Now there's a wall between us, somethin' there's been lost
I took too much for granted, got my signals crossed.
Just to think that it all began on a long-forgotten morn.
"Come in," she said,"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

Well, the deputy walks on hard nails and the preacher rides a mount
But nothing really matters much, it's doom alone that counts
And the one-eyed undertaker, he blows a futile horn.
"Come in," she said,"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

I've heard newborn babies wailin' like a mournin' dove
And old men with broken teeth stranded without love.
Do I understand your question, man, is it hopeless and forlorn?
"Come in," she said,"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

In a little hilltop village, they gambled for my clothes
I bargained for salvation an' they gave me a lethal dose.
I offered up my innocence and got repaid with scorn.
"Come in," she said,"I'll give you shelter from the storm.

"Well, I'm livin' in a foreign country but I'm bound to cross the line
Beauty walks a razor's edge, someday I'll make her mine.
If I could only turn back the clock to when God and her were born.
"Come in," she said,"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

"Shelter from the St0rm"
Bob Dylan
- posted by The Steve Cronen @ 11:02 PM